Does This Mean You'll See Me Naked?: Field Notes from a Funeral Director

Does This Mean You'll See Me Naked?: Field Notes from a Funeral Director

Language: English

Pages: 256

ISBN: 1402250835

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Why would someone want to hang out with dead bodies?

With curious anecdotes and unbelievable truth, funeral director Robert Webster reveals that answer and more, offering readers entertaining and quirky stories gleaned from a life lived around death. Webster tackles those embarrassing questions we all have about what really goes on bhind the scenes when you've left this world:

  • Strange things people put in caskets
  • The biggest rip-offs in the business
  • The crazy things that happen to a body after death
  • Lime, waz, and other ways to hide the truth
  • The most important thing an undertaker does
  • How to avoid the high-pressure funeral parlor
  • What that's not a coffin the body is resting in

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    sad enough that the family before me had lost their loved one, and I had to tactfully determine whether payment would be forthcoming. The elderly lady’s daughter quickly stopped me midsentence to say, “You already have Mom’s funeral money.” I was taken aback. Had her mother prearranged and prepaid, and I hadn’t found her file? Had she assigned her life insurance to the funeral home already? Was her funeral money in a trust at a bank? Had she transferred a plan from another funeral home to

    Principles Jointly Adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations This book is not intended as a substitute for medical advice from a qualified physician. The intent of this book is to provide accurate general information in regard to the subject matter covered. If medical advice or other expert help is needed, the services of an appropriate medical professional should be sought. All brand names and product names used in this book are

    time, an elderly woman approached me at the conclusion of her husband’s funeral and requested that I escort everyone out of the chapel, so that we might be alone. She then asked me to snip a lock of her husband’s hair so that she could retain it as a keepsake. I placed it in a plastic bag and handed it to her. A few weeks later she stopped by to pay off the funeral bill. She reached into her purse and produced a glass baby-food jar that contained another lock of hair, this one from her child,

    landscaping company and were illegal aliens with no green cards and no Social Security numbers. Ohio death certificates, which had to be translated into Spanish for international shipment of human remains, contained spaces that required those numbers. I am certain that the family member who arranged for the funerals gave me fictitious ones, but I had no proof. A translator helped explain to them the requirements and costs involved in international shipment, including airfare for all three and

    visitation, or anywhere in public for that matter. They’re so warm and friendly, so genuinely glad to see him. They really want to hear about his business and about how our family is doing. And we know they’ll call us whenever the death of a loved one occurs because of the kindness and concern that my dad has always projected. What’s comical, though, is how often we are mistaken for each other. Over the phone our voices sound nearly identical. Whenever I answer with a hearty “Webster Funeral

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