Get Me Out of Here!
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Another hilarious episode in the dramatic life of Ruby Rogers, from bestselling author Sue Limb
It's Yasmin's birthday and Ruby, short of money, makes her the most wonderful home-made card ever. Yasmin's best present, though, is a set of windup false teeth, which Ruby borrows, but which never make it home - well, not in one piece, anyway.
Oh dear. Plagued with guilt, Ruby's convinced Yasmin will never forgive her and can't face 'fessing up straight away. Life always seems to get so complicated for our Ruby!
A much-needed series for all those tom-boy girls out there!
Yasmin was still not speaking to me at lunchtime. I ignored her. I was determined not to speak first either. OK, I had broken her teeth, but apart from that she was clearly in the wrong. And she didn’t even know about the teeth yet. She’d just yelled at me and caused the row in the first place. Geography was last lesson: Improving the Environment. Mrs Jenkins showed us a picture of some polar bears standing on an iceberg that had melted almost totally away. They looked kind of puzzled. The
jumped with excitement. This could be it! I tugged at Mum’s arm. ‘Look!’ I yelled. ‘There’s a joke shop! That’s bound to have the teeth!’ ‘Your guardian angel must be working overtime,’ said Mum. We went inside. It was so cool. Instantly I vowed always to bring my pocket money straight here. There were the usual mock specs with dangly eyes. There was itching powder and whoopee cushions. There was a pig key ring, and when you squeezed it, poo came out of its bottom. ‘Look at this, Mum!’ I
giggled, squeezing hard. ‘Ugh, disgusting!’ said Mum. ‘We’re not getting anything to do with toilets, Ruby. That would be tacky.’ ‘Pigs don’t go to the toilet,’ I said. ‘Look at this flying piglet, then! You hang it from the ceiling!’ ‘Yasmin might like that,’ suggested Mum in a hurry. I knew she was thinking about her jacket potato. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, but I wanted to spend loads more time in the shop. There were amazing costumes hanging up, wonderful joke hats
thinking about angels looking like harps, and angels playing harps, and wondering if heaven was really like that, and if it’s true that angels aren’t male or female, just beings. There’s a boy at Joe’s school who’s a bit like that. He’s soooo cool. He has shoulder-length golden curls and his name is Seth Phillips. Next day I was so nervous I could hardly walk. Mum delivered me at the school gate and I kind of tottered forward like a rag doll trying to walk. I could see Yasmin in the middle of
the door and she pushed past me. I know when people drink too much they behave badly. And Tiffany never has good manners even when she’s sober. ‘I don’t want to speak to him anyway!’ she said, heading for the kitchen. ‘Let me see that notice! And gimme a glass of water!’ ‘Help yourself!’ I said. ‘Wait!’ Tiffany was halfway to the kitchen, but she stopped and looked as if she was thinking, hard. ‘I want my cards! I sent him loadsa cards! I want them back!’ In a flash I realised she was