Grosslumps: Tales to Irritate Your Spook Glands

Grosslumps: Tales to Irritate Your Spook Glands

P. F. Chills

Language: English

Pages: 128

ISBN: 1942099010

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub


Here lie nine spooktacular, hauntifying, and ghouleriffic tales by horror mega-maestro P. F. Chills! A high school where human sacrifices are the illest. A magic button that delivers killer pizza. An aging rock band who turns fans into demons. A kid who discovers his parents' divorce lawyers are aliens. These stories and more will give you a nasty, highly contagious case of the grosslumps.

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convenient. I was putting my crazy new scheme into action when my best friend Kyle Rockerman leaned next to my locker. “Yo Sam,” said Kyle. Before we get into what was said, let me stop the flow of the story right now. I want to visually describe Kyle. This is really going to help you imagine him: Kyle had parted, beach blond hair and ocean blue eyes. His skin was the color of white sand. His smooth voice washed over you like the tide. Kyle isn’t a surfer or anything. I just saw Surf Ninjas

talk in clusters and break up when Dana got near them. Girls would shoot dagger-eyes at her across the field. Even Sandy, who used to be her best friend, was avoiding eye contact with Dana. It didn’t take much thought to figure out why the girls were mad at her, since Babs was spelling it out for everyone. “We’re all mad at you because your new big boobs are causing so much trouble! They smashed-in Cassie’s face and you didn’t even go to visit her, because you were too busy using your boobs to

did, too. “It’s the hottest new young adult book series around. Everybody’s reading them. Every month, the author puts out a new one, and they keep getting scarier. You’re either reading Willies, or you’re nobody.” “But what about the Jordache—” “Mackenzie, if you say one more word about jeans, I will slap you in the throat. It’s Willies now. That’s how you get popular.” I wasn’t excited about the idea of reading, because reading was boring. In English class, we were forced to read Bridge to

yourself by falling off a rope in gym class. Let me ask you a question. Was it because you were thinking about Willies?” “Actually, it was. How did you—” “Lucky guess. Everyone’s been thinking about Willies lately. It’s, like, the most popular book series ever. I even heard one of the cheerleaders say if she ever met the author of the series, she’d let him touch her boobs. She is technically underage, but she looks eighteen. So that’s not creepy.” “No, that’s not creepy,” I agreed. “Anyway,

that just got raided?” Marissa reached the podium, looking out at the sea of classmates. She knew many of them, but they had no idea who she was. Her lips quivered and her hands shook as the crowd got restless. She considered running away, then thought about the gay rumor. Finally, with all the courage she could muster, she uttered a single word. “P... P... Pizza.” Everyone looked at her. She had their attention. “Pizza,” she continued. “Is the best food ever. We all know that. So why does

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