How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry: The Only Sex Guide You'll Ever Need
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
A humorous guide to seducing, satisfying, and loving the only man you'll ever need
In an act of generosity, Adrian Colesberry has written an exquisitely detailed guidebook to ensure that every reader knows precisely how to please him-in bed and beyond. Brimming with self-indulgent and incredibly bawdy humor, How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry is a humorous sexual memoir disguised as a manual on Colesberry's pet peeves, favorite positions, and surefire ways to turn on your man (aka Adrian Colesberry).
Recounting dozens of annoying peccadilloes and helpful tips gleaned from his experiences with former lovers, Colesberry covers all stages of the court-andconquer-Adrian-Colesberry process. Beginning with how to attract Colesberry, he later progresses to foreplay and finally the full monty, revealing his own erratic, often unerotic sexual history along the way.
A pitch-perfect parody that spares no detail, How to Make Love to Adrian Colesberry is a hilarious and filthy new entrant into the fratire genre.
other hand, Adrian will have recurring doubts that you want to go down on him, even in the face of evidence to the contrary.5 Tip: Do make a point of communicating to Adrian, verbally if necessary, how much you enjoy sucking him off. To understand why you need to articulate your enjoyment more than once, you should know that there’s a voice in his head that periodically pops up to tell him, “She doesn’t really want to do this. All girls think it’s gross. They just do it because they
As far as boy parts, cock is the best by a mile. Dick comes in a distant second. Penis is safe, as are all legitimate anatomical terms for any part. Hard-on works. Tool is OK in a pinch. Euphemisms such as member, love-muscle, and all just turn him off. As a last note, he really doesn’t like the acronym BJ. If you announced, “I’m going to give you a BJ you’ll never forget,” he would certainly never forget your generous blowjob but would instantly try to forget that you called it a BJ.
light. Take a right, and it’s two blocks dead ahead. She swore that after the last turn he’d practically run into the register. It seemed doable. He knew he’d give in and go to the store eventually, but it was cold out so he lingered in bed for a few more seconds, enjoying the warmth. The instant that he took a breath in preparation for sitting up, the Innocent One jumped out of bed and said, “I’ll be right back.” She pulled her clothes on, grabbed a few bills out of her purse, and ran out. He
of the blue, a few weeks after he had graciously accepted the fact that he would never put his cock in her ass, the Great One said, “I’m not going to try anal sex, but I’m totally open to anything else.”7 Then she tacked on an example of what “anything else” meant. “Like, you could tie me up or something.” Easy to see why he didn’t interpret this as her own personal desire to get tied up. He didn’t need a concession prize for not crassly trying to fuck her in the ass every weekend, so Adrian let
sympathy out the window. You will never hear from Adrian Colesberry a complaint on the order of, “What do you mean, you don’t feel like giving me a blowjob? Do I need to pull out the negotiation graph?” Impossible. CHAPTER 8 NOTES 1 The Expert took a unique approach to Adrian’s sexual menu. Anything he did to her, she would do right back to him. Some things worked out just brilliantly in her tit-for-tat universe: She didn’t let him eat her box for two minutes before bucking him off to suck his