The World According to Clarkson

The World According to Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson

Language: English

Pages: 352

ISBN: 0141017899

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Jeremy Clarkson shares his opinions on just about everything in The World According to Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson has seen rather more of the world than most. He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works; and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly, and without great dollops of humor. In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that too much science is bad for our health, 1970s rock music is nothing to be ashamed of, hunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor clever, we must work harder to get rid of cricket, and that he likes the Germans (well, sometimes). With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd, and the downright idiotic, while also celebrating the eccentric, the clever, and the sheer bloody brilliant. Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it. The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious collection of Jeremy's Sunday Times columns and the first in his The World According to Clarkson series which also includes And Another Thing; For Crying Out Loud! and How Hard Can It Be?

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tried by a judge and two magistrates. What’s wrong with that? Whenever I meet someone new I take in the little details, the hair, the shoes, the eyes, and within five seconds have decided whether I like them or not. In normal everyday life it doesn’t matter that nine times out of ten I’m wrong. But it would matter a very great deal if I were to make one of these lightning decisions while serving on a jury. The defence team could argue until they were blue in the face that their client was in

in turn, means our world of today would be full of people from the future. People would end up marrying their own grandchildren. It would be a mess. Let’s summarise then. Astronomers spend their time lying on their backs looking at stars, but what’s the point? They can’t spot meteorites that are on a collision course with Earth, and even if they could, would we want to know? And if they do find life out there, we will never be able to pop over and say ‘Hi’. However, I fully support this

wondering, is wrong with that? Surely it’s a good idea to put all the politicians together in one place, it saves the rest of us from having to look at them. I’m not so sure. When Peter Mandelson couldn’t remember whether he’d made a phone call or not he had to resign and it was treated as the most important event in world history. On the television news a man with widescreen ears explained that Tony Blair might actually delay the election, as though everyone, in every pub in the land, was

inches tall. Also, he is so clever that you get the impression that he’s teetering all the time on the edge of slipping into Latin. Certainly we know by his appearance on News night before the last general election that he has a fondness for togas. None of this matters, though. He could decide to address the National Allotments Society in Aramaic. He could decide to go everywhere for a week on one leg. But everything he does is overshadowed by where he went to school. You just know how his

flight wore on and they started holding rather more intimate parts of one another’s bodies, the penny dropped. I know I shouldn’t have been surprised. I’ve been told countless times that people are born gay and that it’s not something that happens because you’re too much of a boiler to pull a bloke. So there must be good-looking lesbians, too. It’s just that, outside films, you never see one. I tried to read my book, in which the hero was now taking on and beating the entire US Marine Corps

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